FRIDAY, 7th March 2008

Those who kept asking me about my results, thank you for respecting my decision to not disclose it. I will, sooner or later but just not now.

Am i happy with my Alevel results? Not entirely. You can never be fully happy unless you get 3 A's you know. Those who got 3 A's and still cry, go and die! I understand if you are working towards a scholarship and 3 A's are not good enough. But don't come crying to me, that's all i'm asking.

Is it good enough for me to enter uni? I think so...I'm going to pray really really hard though.

Is it good enough for me to enter the course of my choice? Hopefully. There's always this thing called discretionary admission and i am taking full advantage of that.

After getting my results i went to walk along Pasir Ris beach for awhile and then got very tired and took a Limo cab back home which cost me a bomb. But there's nothing like a good walk by yourself with the sea breeze to get you thinking. For the first time in my life, i think i finally understood what it meant to contemplate life.

I guess life has always been kind to me and i pretty much always gotten what i wanted. Until now. And i realised i'm at a lost. Plus, the feeling sucks!

Were there any regrets in my 2 years at MJ? Of course! Regrets from Anderson Sec? Plenty! Especially with regards to subject choices. And it doesn't help either that my mum didn't stop nagging me with the "What if.."s. And no amounts of "Isn't it too late?" from me could stop her. So i pretended to be asleep, which after awhile, i really did. From 7.45pm to 11 pm. I was tired from lugging the damn heavy paperbag. Plus, i didn't sleep at all the night before. That's why i'm awake at 2.45am, writing this.

To all my friends who are happy with their results, CONGRATULATIONS! Pamela, congrats on your A's! Sam, congrats on your straight A's! I'm so happy for the both of you, you crazy Fongs!!!

To those of you who are less than happy, just be thankful that you can get into a local uni when there are so many others who could not.

And to those of you who are very worried that you can't enter a local uni? Just try every means and hope for the best. Where there's a will, there's a way. Of course, not having hundreds of thousands of dollars in your bank account will straightaway eliminate some of them. But there's always the study loan or something else that you might call the Mummy-Daddy scholarship.

As for me, I'm allowing myself one day to wallow in self-pity and do all the life contemplation that i need. As of tomorrow, i am going to partake in the most dangerous and energy consuming sport of all. University-hunting.