The AH PEK PARADE.

You know the feeling you get where you just wanna scream and run away but you can't? Well, you wouldn't know the feeling till you get stuck in a packed bus and you are surrounded by ah peks. You know you're sitting down at the back of the bus, minding your own business, thinking about the future as buildings pass then all of a sudden, you realised you're being surrounded by the people who think that picking noses in public is okay. That's what exactly happened to me on my way home from Funan 2 days ago.

Never mind the questionable fact that most of them boarded from the bus stop along those dodgy Geylang Lorongs. I wasn't too thrilled about the smell that they brought onboard too! The ah pek on my left was taking huge slabs of Tiger Balm and rubbing it on his neck and face. He seemed to enjoy it. So much that at the end of it, his entire face was covered with a shiny veneer. Nice.

The ah pek on my left reeked so much of faeces that I'm pretty sure either he soiled his pants or he was wearing some strong shit-smelling perfume. Either way, it was puke-inducing!

And I had the unfortunate luck of having the full view of the ah pek sitting diagonally from me. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my ability to hold back my puke was tested once again when he started digging his nose! Happily. Vigorously. Disgustingly. He was digging and digging for so long that it makes me wonder how much dirt can a nostril store?! I mean, seriously! I thought his nose was gonna explode from all the excessive digging. I was staring at him and I didn't bother hiding my disgust. I was waiting for him to look back at me so that I could roll my eyes at him. When he finally did, I rolled as hard as I can. So hard I got a headache.

At one point, after all the digging, he rubbed his face!!! Nasty! The worst part was when he wanted to alight. THAT BOOGER-FACE FREAKING TOUCHED EVERY SINGLE POLE ON HIS WAY TO THE FRONT!!!!

For the rest of the entire journey I only had one thought on my mind: Do NOT touch those poles. Whatever I do, I MUST make sure that I would not touch or go near those poles.

I didn't care if I fell or how many heads I might scratch on the way out. Which was saying something because the bus was filled with follically-challenged ah peks.